怀念

最近发生很多事情都让我想起很多往事,

很多情事, 尤其是那一段, 那一位;

很想唱出我的心声,

可谁又愿意陪我唱呢??

心里的歌曲:

1. 可惜不是你 - 梁静如

2. 棉棉 - 陈奕迅

无助, 无奈..

他告诉我, 看来结果不是很好, 给了我更强的药;

体重已经到了不受控制的地步了..

自己也接受不到, 怎么能奢望别人能够接受呢?

还是别害了别人, 浪费了别人的青春吧..

舍不得当然会有,

那我又可以怎样?

爱充坚强的我,

长年累积的压力与打击,

我的希望与感受,

终于被彻底地打倒了..

Sometimes..

Sometimes,

I just don't know how to tell you..

I just don't know I should be telling you or not..

I believe if we don't talk about it and find a solution..

We're going to have a harsh ending..

U can't understand my words,

Just like I can't understand your words..

We came from a different background,

I've to work hard to blend into your gang of friends..

Feeling fed up to share what's in my mind..

Feeling fed up to share what's in my heart..

Feeling tired to work it out..

Feeling that there's someone that could understand me better than you..

Feeling that there's someone that I can easily share my feeling than you..

Feeling that there's someone that can understand what I'm trying to say easily..

痛彻心扉

看来你真的不记得我们明天的约会..

真的不重要吗?

我不提醒你, 你就彻底地将它忘记了吗??

痛彻心扉....

A down day..

Lonely emu by Suiyen

Very down..

Once reach home, both of you were sitting together..

You guys quarreled..

Uncle kept on sms me, requested me to call him quietly..

HEY GIMME A BREAK..!!

That's your business, it's none of mine.. Stop bugging me for information..!!

She told me about her feeling..

Her sadness..

Her disappointment..

and how she feels depress standing in the middle of two..

I'm very sad for her..

I'm very sad when i found out that i'm not that important to you..

I'm very disappointed that u created so many lies..

Most disappointing are..

When i'm down, you were not here..

When i'm down, you couldn't feel it..

When i'm down, you created lies..

and..

When i'm down, you are having your happy moment with your friends..

U just said u wanted to save few hours ago..

Few hours later, you are going for drink..

Isn't that a joke??

How are you going to convince people by acting like this??

I tried to think of the good side, I failed..

I tried to think of the happy moment, I fail again..

I tried to imagine from another angle, I failed too..

I couldn't lie to myself..

I hate myself..

and..

I'm feeling deeply down..

Trust no one, trust yourself..

It's been a long time..

- Dead fish at the shore of Perhentian Island-

It's been a long time i didn't blog, not even login to check friend's updates.. Which also mean that I had happy time for the past few months..

Recently I find myself a lil bit out of control, no matter it's in work, in money or in relationship..

I've mixed feeling in my relationship:

Feeling tired and have no guts to face problems that occur in relationship,

heart kept on telling me I should have give up if i'm feeling so tired, I don't have to force myself to take all these. But in my brain, I know i've to hold it on..

We both meet, I consider it's our fate.

Being in a relationship is a huge test for both participants.

When i'm mad, I just keep it to myself, I angry to myself, and this is so NOT me..

This happened because the other participant is you? or I've changed?

I'm spending alot after getting salary:

Because I met problems, I was under pressure, what i can do is just spend a lil money to buy something that I like, just to make myself feeling a lil better.

And also, why I don't mind spending with you and spend for you?

I guess i'm out of my mind.

This month is a tough month for me, after 23years of life, this month is the first month that makes me check the price before I order any food.

It's worth it, I save for my bigger plan that will hold in this month end.

Looking forward to it.. Hope everything goes as my plan.

I'm facing alot of problems which comes from two guys:

1 is my ex, he's giving me alot of pressure and alot of problems.

I went for a drink with him, once, then he kept on looking for me after that.

Go his house to drink soup, go for dinner, go chill, etc..

When he asks me to go drink during weekend, I usually don't really like beer, so i'll reject,

when i reject, he'll tell me that why I can go for drink with my friends but not him. OMG, can't take it..

In msn, he says wanna chat, as a friend, i chat with him, then he opens some stupid topics + comments and ideas that i totally find it's childish and pointless, when i tell him back, he said i don't understand pulak. Brother, what the fuck do you want actually?

I tried just to answer "ok, OK, uhuh.." then he'll say i'm not sincere to chat with him.

Save me GOD, or i should say..

SAVE HIM GOD..!!

2nd guy is a guy who got my phone number from my evaluation form that i've filled in Studio R Sunway Pyramid few days ago.

This guy, a malay guy, text me saying that he wanna be a friend with me. Hmmm, just a friend, of course no problem.

But i found him acting weirdly than before.

He wants to know whether i'm home already, he wants me to inform him when i'm home, he wants to know what i'm doing, he wants to know EVERYTHING..!!!!

OMG, I can hardly take it, i'm not your gf, why the fuck you care what i'm doing or whether I reach home or not?

I HATE STICKY GUY..!!!!

**p.s: Now the problem is, how to get rid of him??

真相

一直在等你, 但原来你根本就不在乎;

我, 原来什么都不是....

分开吧..